I'm writing to announce that I have decided to stop doing the Victory Press effective immediately. There are still details to be worked out about what the future holds, but in the meantime, no new subscribers can sign up and all active subscriptions have been paused. If you have any questions about your subscription, please contact me directly at zoe@victorypress.org.
With our currently available business funds, I will be working on securing an appropriate reward for paying subscribers who have made our work possible (which is not specifically Victory Press themed – probably a t-shirt and sticker design celebrating women's sports in general) and figuring out how best to distribute remaining funds to Nicole and Melissa. Nicole is still planning to cover the IIHF U18 Women's Worlds in Finland in January, and I am hoping to use VP's remaining resources to support her work, regardless of where it appears.
When we have more to announce, I will publish it here. Please note that this website will not be disappearing and that I will continue to pay for it to be hosted indefinitely so that women's hockey history will not be lost.
Background, for anyone who is curious:
At the beginning of July, out of necessity, I took a step back from working on my ongoing VP projects in order to focus on other aspects of my life that needed attention. The effects this had on my mental health were extremely noticeable – in a positive direction. This is a decision I have almost made several times over the last few years, but I kept working on VP because I felt that it was important to do so. But it is time for me to stop. The change in my physical and mental state when I set it aside was so dramatic that I knew I could not continue to do it.
The launch of the PWHL was such an exciting moment for women's hockey and sports in general, and it was a great privilege to cover the season. However, I can't deny that the happiness I have experienced over the last few weeks. I have spent 100% of my free time outside of my day job being with my wife, working on our home, and writing non-hockey-related stuff. It has been like a breath of fresh air. For a long time, Victory Press has been a source of anxiety and despair for me. And that's just not something I should be putting on myself for something that is voluntary and that I do in my spare time. It has crystallized for me that this is holding me back from the life I want to have and from the writing that I actually want to do.
It has been an incredible honor to be part of this community for the last decade and I will not stop watching, following, and supporting women's hockey. (I may even continue to write about it sometimes – on my own terms.) I am deeply grateful for this experience. It has been informative and I have learned and grown as a person in ways that I never could have predicted. When I left blogging about the NHL and started writing about women's hockey, I was 24 years old. I had just been through some very challenging experiences in my personal life. Women's hockey was something that steadied me and gave me a sense of purpose and belonging.
But my heart is no longer in this. I have an essay I am working on that will explain why, from a perspective of political economy, but I hope that it won't be misunderstood as a negative experience. I have been a really small part of something incredibly expansive and cool. I've met incredible human beings who have shown me love and respect and kindness and shared their laughter, opinions, frustrations, hopes, and dreams with me. I'm very lucky to have done this as long as I have.
I hope you understand that if I saw a path forward, this wouldn't be the end. If you've ever read anything we published at Victory Press, I am grateful.
If you ever have an idea and believe in it, I hope you have the same opportunity that I did to actually do it. If you have ever struggled with your mental health, I hope you have the same opportunity that I do to make a necessary change that will transform your life for the better.
We are in a really terrifying chapter in human history, and we need each other. We need to be present and ready to care for each other in extremely difficult circumstances. If something is holding you back, you deserve to see what you could become without it.
Thanks again. Updates as we have them. There's still a little bit more to come.
sincerely, and with love,
Zoë
